Should You Divorce or Work it Out?
Divorce – An easy way out?
Problems can crop up in any marriage. Managing them needs
dedication and hard work. But the reward for the effort can
be well worth it. Divorce isn’t’talways the alternative to
working through the rough times of marraige — not for
Talking it out
A lack of communication lies at the heart of most problems
associated with failing relationships. Screaming
recriminations at one another and indulging in futile
arguments is often mistaken for meaningful dialogue. You
need to be objective in these situations. Dispelling anger
helps to see the real issues more clearly.
Each couple will have their own set of problems and issues
that they need to work through. Perhaps there are trust
issues or issues with intimacy. Whatever your issues, sit
down and talk about them without judging or accusing. State
what you need from the other person in order to feel loved
and respected. You may want to write letters to each other
and share them if you fear that you will interrupt the other
while you talk.
Wait until both of you have read before you say your piece.
You will be astonished at how alike your views are.
If talking it out doesn’t’thelp, you can always consult a
trained marriage counselor. Their objectiveness and unbiased
views are sometimes all that is needed. They can also
provide you with solutions that can help improve and
strengthen your relationship.
Needless to add the encouragement and backing of loved ones,
whether they are family members or trusted friends, is
invaluable during these trying times. Talk to them and get
their input but always be certain that they are genuinely
concerned, and remember to stay balanced. Talking in this
way helps, especially if you need to gauge whether you are
being difficult to deal with and need some help.
If all else fails
If nothing seems to work and your relationship with your
partner is getting worse, it may be time to think of a
divorce. What often happens is that couples rush into
divorce without trying to work through their problems first.
But many times, marriages can be saved and helped with
communicating and working together to rebuild the marriage.
Having said that, remaining married despite irreconcilable
differences, for the sake of the children is normally not
the best alternative. Children irrespective of age perceive
the conflict between their parents and the ensuing sadness
that pervades the home. Having to grow up in that atmosphere
is not right or healthy for the children.