Seeking Marriage Help in New York

Seeking Marriage Help in New York

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There are many different options available to manage the problems in your married life and to save your marriage. The problems in the married life may be because of lack of communication, absence of love, no sex, abusive partner, infertility, unfaithful partner and financial problems.

When these problems go beyond the limits of tolerance, the couple may start thinking about getting separated. However, divorce can affect personal and family life of both the partners. Hence, the couple first should try to find the ways to resolve the problems in married life and save the marriage.

When you try some options like talking with each other, talking with your friends and family and if you come to known that it does not work, then you may go for the marriage counseling. Marriage counseling is a form of therapy applied for conflict resolution which is generally carried out by the trained psychotherapist.

It plays a significant role in preventing the divorce and maintaining the healthy relationships by resolving the conflicts, improving the relationships, overcoming the differences and reconstructing your marriage. You need not have to go far to seek the advice to save a marriage, New York itself offers a variety of ways to get the proper guidance.

In order to save marriage, New York has numerous marriage-counseling bureaus spread in the city. Marriage counseling in New York offers empowering, creative solutions to the family and couples based on Imago Therapy to overcome anxieties and inhibitions in their struggle for great emotional intimacy. It tries at its best to prevent divorces and save marriages.

For those who wish to save marriage, New York City’s counseling houses have the superbly trained staff. The psychiatrists in the bureaus are extremely skilled and highly experienced and with intense knowledge in marriage counseling. It is very important to choose the right marriage counselor and couple therapist to get the successful outcome. He should be highly qualified and should have master’s degree in counseling or social work. He should have enough experience of marriage counseling.

The mission of marriage counseling is to resolve the problems in married life, sex therapy, couples therapy, relationship counseling and family therapy. The different forms of marriage counseling are effective when accompanied by the methods of natural psychotherapy and holistic concepts.

Marriage counseling bureaus in New York specialize in the fundamental issues of modern relationships including building and ending relationships, relationship problems, couples counseling and also pre-marital counseling. If you are not from this city and want to save marriage, New York City’s counseling bureaus offer the online facilities for you.

The marriage counselors take the genuine efforts to prevent the divorce by resolving the problems in married life and by rebuilding your relationships. They provide the effective tools such as relationship skills and communication skills to save the marriage. Various counseling sessions are held for the couples which offer good opportunity to the couples to share their feelings and help to clear the misunderstanding.

The counselor may not solve the problems in your marriage, but will help you to solve them yourself by making your marriage bond strong and keeping your relationships alive.

The effects of marriage counseling in New York are found to be wonderful. After seeking this counseling, many couples have been successful in resolving the conflicts in their married life and have got back to a happy married life.

Save Your Marriage Before It’s Too Late

Save Your Marriage Before It’s Too Late

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Everyone wants to have a happy marriage. A happy marriage is one of the finest things life can offer. But after some time different kinds of problems appear in our life. It is true that many people give up on a marriage too soon, and too many marriages end up being weighted down by unresolved difficulties.

What happens if none of those things from the beginning of your relationship are happening any more such as: the little favors nowadays, cook your favorite meal, buy you something special; those little things that showed you she cares about you. Knowing that you may be losing the person you love is hard on anyone. Like most people in your situation you are probably feeling scared and confused, not knowing what to do next. If you feel that your marriage is crisis, don’t show your partner that you’re panicking; try to keep calm and in control your emotions.

Both of you need to remember that no matter how bleak things seem, it is possible for many marriages to get back on course, but both husband and wife should be willing to cooperate. The important thing is to stay calm and to know what to avoid and what to aim for to make relationship work. You can save your marriage even if your partner wants a separation, she asks for divorce, or doesn’t love you anymore. But to stop divorce you need to avoid doing what hurts your relationship, knowing that there’s always a hope to save your marriage.

Jealousy is one of the reasons why most people get divorce, but is not the only one. If she caught you with infidelity and that’s why she wants to get divorce, the hardest thing you will need to do is to rebuild trust in your relationship: always be on time home, do what you say you do and be honest. Also, never lie to your spouse again, communicate clearly all the time, take time to reassure your spouse if she feels insecure, show her affection on regular basis and also be patient with her.

As I said there are many other reasons why people get divorce. This is usually a big mistake so try first to do all the sacrifices that are necessary to save your marriage.

-first and the most important is to identify your problems; take an honest look at the relationship and determine what the problems are; truly express what is disturbing you in, as much details as possible; look for solutions rather that blaming your partner

-if you are guilty for this situation, show her your companion, respect and affection; everyday remind her how much you love her and put meaning from the heart into those words

-start doing things that were usually done when both were still in loved and married

-express your feelings, communicate your feelings honestly and openly as you can

-establish open dialog and begin to compromise and heal; discuss about your feelings and come to an agreement about what you feel the relationship needs

-also you have to learn to listen as well; the things that are brought up should be treated as guides so that the couple will learn how to respect each other’s feelings and points of view; she may talk about what she is feeling regarding the relationship

-you have to work hard to understand and change what is bothering your partner in the relationship; even if she still loves you, she may see some persistent problems in you, and that’s why she may have lost hope for the relationship because of them; you have to understand better your partner’s perception of these problems

-if you are getting stale on your sex life, talk to each other, spend more time alone just the two of you, go on a vacation

-open yourself to the fact that any issue can be understood and interpreted in a variety of ways, otherwise you will continue to stay in a rut

-think about the ways you contribute to the situation

-learn to internalize and understand that your partner is not you; both have to find ways to empathize with the other’s point of view

-appreciate the value of the other’s experience in the way that is different than yours

-don’t allow old negative behavior patterns to swamp the present moment

-learn to forgive and forget; learn to forget anything and accept one another; bringing up the past will not save the marriage; one must learn to forgive the spouse and forget all the mistakes from the past

-seek both for a solution; remember that you are two different people; is not about who is wining here, it’s about respect, intimacy, growth and emergence

-set goals to work as a couple, such as: to communicate without arguing, to attempt to do things as a couple, to find an end to your problems, and also write down your feelings and allow the other to read them

-last but not at least, be patient; your marital problems did not crop up overnight and they will not be healed overnight; discuss all the emotions that you both feel until you are centered and ready to begin anew

So, if you have some problems in your marriage, wait first to see if that marriage can be saved, don’t be hurry to get divorced. Always have to think positive, that there is a hope to save your marriage no matter how many problems appear in your life. And remember that to have lasting satisfaction you need to know how to keep love and good feelings alive.

Can You Prevent A Divorce It Takes Work

Can You Prevent A Divorce It Takes Work

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If your relationship is going through a rough patch and it is one of many rough patches you may be concerned that you are heading for divorce. Sometimes divorce can’t be avoided, it will depend on the couple and the situation, but there are many times that you can work toward healing your relationship before it reaches the point for divorce.

One mistake many people make is that they start making promises. They start saying things like ‘that will never happen again’, ‘I will fix everything’ or ‘I have changed’. These are just empty promises and actually make the person sound a little desperate and a bit insincere. Even if you believe you are sincere and that you can change, statements like these will not save your relationship.

Actions speak louder than words. It would benefit you more to start showing the changes you are willing to make instead of promising to make them. Don’t just say that you have changed but actually take steps to change. You do need to discuss the problems with your partner though because you can’t just change who you are to make them happy, you need to be happy too. Often there are problems that both parties need to work with to improve the relationship.

Telling your partner that you love him constantly is not a good idea either. Even if it is true and you do love him, saying it constantly won’t fix any problems. In fact telling him that you love him can be seen as a bit of emotional blackmail – when all else fails say ‘I love you’ – it doesn’t quite work like that. It isn’t the miracle cure for a failing marriage.

When a relationship is in trouble it can be stressful and you may find yourself an emotional wreck. This is another reason why you shouldn’t keep telling him that you love him because it will just drain him more emotionally. Telling him that you love him is something you should save for when you have your relationship back on track.

Another big mistake when a relationship is in trouble is to constantly argue. When you yell and scream at each other and only worry about getting your point across and not listen to what the other person is saying, then this doesn’t get you anywhere. All it does is add more tension to the relationship and nobody wins these arguments. If you continually point out your partners faults to him and constantly tell him he is wrong, he will not want to try very hard to resolve any issues. However, if you calmly discuss the issues and let him know that you care about his feelings too then he will be more willing to work on saving your marriage.

Do not start any arguments with your husband and if he starts one then walk away. When he has calmed down then ask him if he’d like to discuss matters. Don’t approach the marriage like a competition to find who is best at relationships and who is to blame for it failing, approach it like a partnership that you both need to help each other with.

If your marriage is heading for divorce then sit down with your husband and calmly talk about any problems you have. Don’t argue with him but ask him what he is feeling and how he thinks you can improve the marriage. Take his answers into consideration along with your own feelings and try to work some compromise that will make you both happy. You can prevent a divorce if you handle the problem in a mature and calm way.

Psychological Well Being Of Single Parents

Psychological Well Being Of Single Parents

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Understanding the Psychological Well Being of Single Parents

Probably the hardest thing to face as a single parent is the intense emotion linked with being both a mother and a father to a child. This is further magnified when the other parent is absent or is deliberately not doing anything to fulfill his part in the caring for the children. More often than not, the single parent’s psychological well being bogs down.

Single parents might try to cope with this strain by either trying to compensate by adopting both mom and dad roles, or by scouring the social scene for a partner to help him or her in the rearing of the child. The pressure is definitely high.

However, if truth be told, none of the two methods will help. If anything, they might even cause you to become more psychologically stressed.

Majority of single parents feel guilty for the absence of the other parent, often blaming themselves for the loss. This is especially complicated if the custodial parent is male and he has a daughter or three daughters, making it difficult for him to portray motherly duties.

Chances are, he will go on wild hunting trip to look for somebody to fill the position, which, more often than not, particularly for those who go out to just look for a replacement parent, ends up in vain.

To cope with the other parent’s absence, you must first acknowledge and admit that nobody will ever replace your child’s mom or dad. Sure, somebody nice and appropriate could come along, but if you make this search your daily goal, then you might as well be driving you and children to loony house.
While finding someone to fill the spot addresses a big need, this should not be your sole purpose in life. Always remember that your children need YOU to care for them, and do not just see you as a nanny or private eye tasked to find them a good parent.

Instead, focus on what you can give your kids, even without a partner. Being a single parent is not a sin. Nor is it a reason for you to go on guilt trips every single day. You should even be proud that you have successfully reared your kid or kids on your own, and prouder that they have you. Whether or not you find a new spouse or partner, your children will still be happy to have you with them.

Always keep in mind that you are only human and cannot do everything at once. Not always being a hero to your kids does not make you less of a person. Remember, what does not kill you will only make you stronger.

Capitalize on the relationship you currently have with your kids and improve on that, instead of just dwelling on the fact that you’re alone and don’t have a partner.

Kids today are more resilient and understanding than we give them credit for, so never underestimate their power to understand your limitations. Be honest about your feelings and they will be honest with theirs, as well. You could be pleasantly surprised with their responses.

Divorce – Are You Feeling Cheated?

Divorce – Are You Feeling Cheated?

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Are you feeling relieved after divorce or cheated? After many divorces people feel happy while in many rather more cases they feel cheated. Why? Divorce it self is a very painful process and the times that lead to divorce are more painful. The question is why get the sense of feeling cheated after getting divorce? Let us talk about this.

Relationship demands giving – People give a lot to their marriage; most of them do it except few. Right from the development of relationship, a lot of time, emotional energy and physical resources are given to make it work. During marriage the investment goes higher. Most of the partners want the marriage to work. There are exceptions that unbelievably want to destroy because of psychological problems. When cracks develop in the marriage, lot more effort is made to save the marriage and when the marriage breaks after putting in so much effort, one feels cheated.

Is this true for all? This is not true for all. There are few individuals who don’t give anything in marriage. They ask for it. The demand and contribute nothing. That is the game of selfishness played by them. So these people will never feel cheated. They will only feel bad that they lost an easy victim.

What should you do? The only way out is to forget the losses. Try to erase the past as much as possible. This will be difficult, but break the pain bit by bit. Work on it and it will go away one day. Try to forge another relationship and forget what went wrong. Cut your losses as soon as possible.

How Marriage Seminars Can Stop Divorce

How Marriage Seminars Can Stop Divorce

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Marriage seminars could very well be the key to stopping your divorce. This is true even if you aren’t on the verge of a divorce. With the divorce rates skyrocketing, it pays for you to put in the work now at marriage seminars to make sure that you don’t have problems later.

For those of you not familiar with the term, a seminar is basically an event where experts gather to share some of their expertise. This can be multiple experts or just one, and it can be an event that lasts a few hours or a few days.

Marriage seminars are usually the longer variety, lasting over the course of a weekend, but if you look, you can find seminars that are longer or shorter. They are often Christian based, but again, if you take the time to look around you find ones that aren’t, if a religious based seminar doesn’t sound like it is up your alley.

All marriage seminars generally offer you the same advantages; they give you time to get away from everyday life and look at your marriage. This is important, because when you’re caught up in the day to day business of your life, it’s hard to actually look at your life. You just don’t have the distance that you need to do the work.

Marriage seminars, on the other hand, give you an opportunity to put yourself in a setting where you can get away from distractions and focus on the things that really matter. Even better, you’ll be there with other couples doing the same thing. The value of this time away is not to be underestimated.

It’s also good to know that you are not alone in your relationship problems. This one fact alone can really help you start the process of repairing your marriage. It may feel like you and your spouse are the only people in the world going through what you’re going through, but you aren’t, and getting away will show you that.

Another big plus is that marriage seminars are filled with experts on marriage, love and relationships. These are people who know what the right questions to ask are and can help guide you through the process of identifying your problems and they can tell you what you need to do to prevent your divorce.

The seminars and retreats are also good for people that aren’t having relationship problems. It’s all too common for us to not think about our relationships when things are going well, but having regular tune ups every few years is as good for your relationship as it is for your car. The best time for anyone to solve a problem us before it becomes a problem, and attending one of these seminars is an excellent way to do this.

If you can’t find the time or the money to do one of these marriage seminars, don’t worry. Thankfully, there are plenty of guides and systems available to you that can show you what you need to do fix what is broken or even to just make sure nothing in your relationship gets broken to begin with.

How To Stop A Divorce

How To Stop A Divorce

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Divorce appears to be the new tendency in marriages these days. The entire globe appears to have jumped on the bandwagon which is endlessly being caused by split-ups in the entertainment industry. The holiness of wedlock is being sacrificed and it has turned into a marketplace for divorce- driven oblects such as divorce attorneys.

A great many people believe that obtaining a divorce is the sole means to pull out of a distressed relationship. However, as the wonderful philosopher Aristotle said, “There is always a third option.” Regarding individuals that believe that obtaining a divorce is the same thing as being contented, try thinking it through again. A current study that was lead by Ms. Linda Waite of the University of Chicago disclosed that divorced individuals are not any happier. An additional even more amazing reality that was uncovered by the research is that 67% of the individuals that became distressed about their marriages later stated that they were happy in their marriages five years later. Her group additionally discovered that a preponderance of devotedly wedded pairs had undergone long durations of sadness in their unions. The distinction is that the pair remained with the relationship and discovered answers to their difficulties.

Matrimony is designed to connect the inner souls of two individuals together. The marriage loses its holiness in the complete circumstance of splitting up. There exist more methods than one to stop divorce. Listed below are a few valuable points that someone can use in trying to rescue their marriage.

-Communication is the Key Virtually all differences advance to fights as a result of the absence of communication. A few pairs merely discuss chores and projects. Maintaining an open line of communication would maintain the frankness in the relationship and prevent concealed perceptions that could prod significant emotional harm.

-There Are No Perfect Relationships The fundamental lessons of economics dictate to us that any time we remain with one thing, we are consistently excluding something else. Divorces are commonly spurred by unfaithfulness and third-party affairs. Keep in mind that no relationship is perfect. Problems between marriage partners is no reason for unfaithfulness, actually it ought to make their relationship stronger.

-Look For Assistance In case everything else does not work the way you hoped it would and you have attempted to solve the difficulty between the pair of you, seek outside help. There exist professional marriage counselors that are able to help marriage partners with problems to get back on the right track. There’s no harm in seeking assistance.

Keep in mind that divorce has its penalties, which include tremendous monetary losses. Even more significantly, it taints marriage and completely finishes relationships. What it comes down to is that if there is more than sufficient love that exists within a home, divorce will not ever rear it ugly head.

How To Prevent Divorce

How To Prevent Divorce

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The failure of marriage may be the cause of inconsistency among couples in communicating and interacting with one another both physically and emotionally. Couples tend to hate each other when they do not compromise each other’s mistakes. This often leads to unhappy marriages and even result to divorce.

Adultery is one reason why a marriage can lead to a divorce. Records show that the involvement of the spouse in an adulterous affair could trigger the separation and the spouse has the legal chance to file for divorce cases. Some people may think that adultery has little impact on divorce. Some believe that it is a symptom for a divorce. Adultery is an act of abuse, damaging both the emotional and physical aspect of the relationship.

The crud could be one reason why a couple resorts to divorce. There are times that even when the couple lives together, both could no longer feel the presence of each other in terms of the emotional aspect of their relationship. The lack of love and affection triggers a couple in grueling conflicts and physical abuse, which leads to divorce. Here are some tips on how husbands and wives can prevent divorce.

1. A couple must deal on all conflicting issues. It could be better for a couple to talk about their problems and be open to one another’s opinion. In this way, the couple may find ways on how they will resolve the problem.

2. Make some value on mutual interests. Couples who want to prevent divorce may find ways to have some moments where they can spend time and evaluate their emotions. They should make some effort to make it up for some lost time together.

3. A person always has the option to choose the person that could be right for him. It could be better if the person has the same perspectives and beliefs. This could lessen any irreconcilable differences that would lead to divorce.

4. Make the relationship work as the best of friends instead of just being partners. If there is friendship established within the marriage, there is a strong indication that the marriage can get stronger and even last forever.

5. Learn how to accept any disappointments and failures in the relationship. It can sometimes help when the couple knows all their limitations and imperfections in the marriage. Expressing anger is only normal but they need to make sure that it would only take a little time to release that kind of emotion.

6. It is important to take care of ones physical appearance. Staying beautiful and handsome can spice up the relationship most of the time. However, couples should stay healthy even when there is dieting involved in maintaining a perfect body.

7. Couples should be faithful and honest to one another. To make a long lasting marriage there must be fidelity and honesty in the relationship. They should not tell lies and should be courageous enough n bringing up any problems that may arise.

Always remember that couples are bound together because of love. Divorce may be prevented if couples will always put in mind that their marriage will last long enough and live up to the expectations that they promised to one another when the they exchanged vows. Those who do not agree on divorce are couples who believe that staying together gives them enough reason that marriage is very important as a family.

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Avoid Divorce

Avoid Divorce


Today, divorce seems to be the penicillin to all marriage problems.
Married couples who are struggling with personal and business challenges don’t bother to fix the problem and avoid divorce. Instead, they embrace it and see divorce as an easy, convenient end to a bad marriage.

It does not help that divorce is socially acceptable. Thus, at the first sign of trouble in a relationship, couples consider it as their first choice in solving the problem.

But divorce is not a cure to all the problems that you, as a couple, are having. In fact, it could often lead to more serious problems, such as financial, housing, and joint custody.

Why avoid divorce?

After a divorce, a former partner is said to feel depressed and lonely. He or she may withdraw from any social gatherings because his or her previous marriage that ended badly has put such a dent on his or her self-image and self-worth. Or he or she may quickly end up in one bad relationship after another in an effort to dispel the loneliness.

You don’t want this to happen to yourself. Partners should not consider divorce just because “everyone else is doing it – and they survived.” Rather, you should avoid divorce at all cost, leaving it only as an alternative when everything else fails.

Your parents, siblings, and friends would tell you otherwise. However, their opinion should only have, at most, a persuasive effect on your decision. They should not be the one to decide whether or not your marriage is still worth saving. The relationship that you have with your spouse is personal, private and unique. No matter what people say, you and no one else really know what is really going on between you and your partner.

Divorce is not easy.

Hire a great divorce attorney to make everything smooth and easy for you. While this may be true at some level, divorce, no matter how smooth and easy, puts much stress on both you and your partner.

There is no such thing as an “easy divorce.” It is a very stressful and emotional process – one that you are not going to forget any time soon after the papers have been signed.

Now, you might say that a troubled marriage is no walk in the park either, so that when you work to avoid divorce, you are giving yourself a harder time than you should.

But all relationships that are worth your while require hard work. A lot of it. In order to make a marriage work and avoid divorce, some changes must be done. But don’t make the mistake of being able to change your partner’s personality. You can change small habits, but you can never change the whole person. You must accept this or start looking for someone else.

Attorney Marilyn Gale Vilyus Offers Guidance On Divorce

Attorney Marilyn Gale Vilyus Offers Guidance On Divorce

No one except an individual can determine whether or not a divorce is right for him or her. However, there are some general questions which pretty much apply to everybody. Thinking about the following issues may help them evaluate whether a divorce is right for themselves.
What specifically is making someone think of divorce?
Physical Abuse
When a spouse is violent to someone and/or their kids, this is a safety issue. No matter what someone may have done, noone deserves to be physically hurt. Spouses may try to justify their actions by casting blame for all marital problems. A marriage requires effort by both persons to make it work.
Ask the following questions:
a. Has your spouse tried to isolate you from your friends and family?
b. Have you had to call the police to stop violence?
c. Have you ever had to go to the hospital as a result of being hurt by your spouse?
d. Does your spouse apologize after hurting you and promise “never to do it again?”
e. Do you try to do everything “right” to keep your spouse from losing his or her temper?
f. Does this work for a little while, only to have the violence eventually start again?
g. Can you feel the pressure building in between violent episodes?
h. Does the smallest thing set off a violent episode?
i. Do you feel that nothing you do is right?
If someone can identify with the above questions, he or she may be a victim of “battered spouse syndrome.” This situation, although it can occur with both wives and husbands, usually describes a situation in which a husband is physically abusing his wife.
A great deal of psychological and legal study has been done on this topic. Often, women who have been abused “forgive their husbands” and stay in the abusive situation. It has been found that five times is the average number of times a woman leaves her spouse before she can successfully escape the psychological control an abusive spouse can have over her.
Often, an abused wife alienates her family and friends who get angry when they try to help the woman leave, only to learn that she has returned to her husband and the dangerous situation.
Many think they don’t have anywhere to go. Most cities have special shelters for woman and children and will keep a location secret from husbands. Free legal fees are also frequently available.
Help is definitely available. Don’t stay or permit children to stay in a situation which could result in serious injury or even death.
Those who think they may be the abuser in this situation may also find help to stop the pattern of behavior to move forward and enjoy the pleasure of a healthy, happy relationship.
Everyone deserves a second chance at happiness. Everybody can change and learn and grow from our mistakes. Maybe counseling is the answer. Maybe an anger management class would help; or, spiritual guidance from a member of the clergy. Perhaps yoga, meditation or some other form of “alternative” medicine. Reach out and find the help that is available.
The Affair
Most believe that never in a million years could it happen to them. All of sudden, a spouse stays up late or gets up in the middle of the night to use the computer. Chat rooms, e-mails, internet “buddies.” How did that picture get distributed on the internet? (You know, the one you took thinking that it would remain private between you and your spouse. )
Then, there are the old-fashioned, more traditional ways to cheat: the business trip, the co-worker, or the high school reunion hook-up. Let’s not forget the world’s oldest profession.
The question is – does someone leave or stay?
The world is divided into two groups of people – spouses who can forgive an affair by their spouse and move forward – and those who can’t.
Those who fall victim to a wandering spouse should be honest and think about whether they want the marriage to continue. Is there a sincere desire to work things out, or is someone secretly determined to make their spouse’s life a living hell? Maybe they don’t really want this consciously; perhaps they just can’t help themselves.
Maybe personal or spiritual values will keep them from continuing in a marriage in which a spouse has cheated. Or, the opposite could be true – those who feel they are committed to stay in a marriage no matter what.
Being honest about true motives will go a long way towards helping make the right decision.
It’s also possible that the marriage has been over for a long time. What would have to happen to save a relationship – talk about what seems to be missing in the marriage? Do the spouses still love each other?
Or, is it just a day late and a dollar short?
Sometimes, a couple has passed the point of no return. Regardless of whether a spouse wants a divorce or not, the State of Texas will not force a couple to live together if one of them wants a divorce. Most of the time, one person leaves the relationship long before the other. A spouse may need some “catch-up” time to get used to this idea.
If this is the case, be prepared for a bumpy ride for awhile. A spouse will probably alternate between being angry, depressed, bargaining, penitent, furious, grieving, victimized, vengeful, retaliatory, depressed again, pathetic, and hostile (and then all over again).
It’s possible spouses may not know which of the other spouse’s “multiple personalities” they are going to have to deal with on any given day. One minute, everything is calm and both are talking rationally. The next day, they’re living in the seventh circle of hell.
It helps to remember that some of this is purely situational; ie. it is (believe it or not) normal behavior. It isn’t actually about the two individuals – one and a spouse. Instead, it’s about being hurt and feeling betrayed. Both parties feel guilty. Both are suffering. Both feel just plain miserable.
Debt
Those purchases seemed like a good idea at the time. All of a sudden, credit card debt and lots of it (thousands and thousands of dollars worth) moves the question to whether to declare bankruptcy and then get divorced or vice versa.
Some may not want or intend to declare bankruptcy at all. If this is a consideration though, contact a bankruptcy attorney to best consider the options that make the most sense for a personal situation.
Other kinds of financial problems frequently stress a marriage and can bring it to an early conclusion: gambling, excessive drinking, drug use (the costs involved here), spending on step-children or adult children.
Got problems with child support from a previous relationship? (Interest and penalties can cause the most loving spouse to lose his or her sense of humor. )
Money can’t buy happiness. It has been suggested that the people who believe that don’t know where to shop.
Food and shelter are pretty basic needs (Maslow’s Hierarchy – Psychology 101). A spouse who thinks his or her partner is to blame for their financial ruin may just decide to cut their losses and run (very fast).
Debt counseling and debt consolidation could help. Getting out from under steep monthly payments may provide much needed relief, as can re-financing the house or a home equity loan. These solutions will only work if the couple cures the disease and not just the symptoms. A serious change in lifestyle is in order.
Can a couple work this through? Can they afford to split up? Two people can live together cheaper than they can apart – sometimes, a couple literally cannot make it financially living separately.
Conclusion
Those who review these questions may not be any closer to knowing whether or not filing for divorce is the right answer, but may find it helpful when thinking about some of the above in the decision making process.